Reality has its limits
but for now
I'm throwing all complexities
and breathing in
the utopia
that is the steady pace
of your heartbeat.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Hydrocortisone, thou art a heartless bitch.
15:45
The uncomfortable bed sheet.
Sleep has already crawled up my faculties when red spots started to spread and map across my skin - all the way from my neck and arms down to my legs. It was an unpleasant sight to behold, neither the irritation it brought about. I felt tremendously hot and the growing itch never left my fragile body.
Right there and then, I knew it's time to make the move.
16:30
Hospital doors.
They are not as welcoming as other doors could be. The attendants were pretty much just walking scrub suits before my eyes. It has been ages since I got admitted/confined in an emergency room and I am not at all fond of being in a sick bay. The place is just hauntingly depressing.
When the doctor was through with his questionings, he finally instructed the attendant to give me the shot. I had no choice. That's the only way to beat the allergies. So there I lay in the hospital bed looking only at one familiar face in belief that what will be done to me next would not hurt as much as I've expected.
The nurse had all the medical tools prepared. The cold and tight press of the tourniquet on my skin made my heart skipped a beat of fear. I never bothered to look at the needle that was soon to pierce the delicate vein inside my body for I know I would not like the way it would look. My boyfriend stood by my bedside assuring me it's going to be over quick as I hugged his left hand firmly, squeezing it as hard as I can at the first needle prick.
I thought it was going to be over fast.
Despite the soothing words both the attendant and Simon kept reciting, my anatomy reeled in when the second injection came through. The penetration stung like a thousand bees as it aided the fluid drug to my bloodstream. I felt it jolt all the way up to my left shoulder. It was sorely numbing that I cried like a helpless little girl begging for the nurse to stop. That was the longest and most excruciating 5 minutes of my life.
When it was over and the first needle was taken out, I saw that the bleeding won't stop. I panicked over worry and my body started to twitch involuntarily. The nurse had to redo the cotton bandage to ensure that the right amount of pressure was applied on my hand. He asked me to calm it down and keep breathing it out. (I wish I had my smokes.) It was nauseating. I just want to feel better again.
17:10
Punch-drunk.
After the torment that which would free me from this unfortunate condition, the doctor said I may get dizzy. He wasn't lying. I loss count of time. I stayed in the ER for at least 45 minutes more just to rest. I can't exactly remember if I've fallen asleep or I was just half-asleep during that period of time. When I got my full consciousness back, the red marks on my body finally fell into a faint. Simon's still at my side holding my hand. I was still feeling weak, but to go home and rest I must. That's the only place I want to be at that very moment.
18:30
Home.
My sister prepared my meal. I got antihistamine drugs to take. Mom has no clue of what happened to me. And I think it's better that way so she won't worry a lot.
To be honest, I really don't understand how I got the allergies. I'm no allergic to any food. In my 27 years of existence, I never encountered such illness. The doctors can't identify which triggered the hypersensitivity, but there's this possibility that the medicine I was taking for my pharyngitis caused it.
Anatomy, why do you repel drugs?
Whatever reason there is, I really have no clue. All I know is, my body is out of sorts and it needs its utmost care. I will see the hospital again on the morrow.
I'm sorry work, but you are the least of my concerns right now.
Get well soon, self.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Grill and Bombscare!
Attendance is a Must. Not missing this for the 2nd time around.
Pirata Represent! Woo! :D
Pirata Represent! Woo! :D
Friday, September 13, 2013
Sunday, August 18, 2013
It all started with a Lollipop
Sometimes,
she need be reminded of this childlike ambition I once had
in outweighing the mortal blows of reality
that every stride of prick and puncture
will do justice to a self-fulfilling achievement
yearned since the stealing of her innocence
that by the cold sweat of her brows
future contentment shall materialize
in the palms of her hand
like a wishing feather forever rested
to the swaying of the winds.
she need be reminded of this childlike ambition I once had
in outweighing the mortal blows of reality
that every stride of prick and puncture
will do justice to a self-fulfilling achievement
yearned since the stealing of her innocence
that by the cold sweat of her brows
future contentment shall materialize
in the palms of her hand
like a wishing feather forever rested
to the swaying of the winds.
Monday, August 12, 2013
224/365
It is only when I'm writing that I find myself in perfect solace
of being totally insane and at the same time, in control of the universe.
***
Inspiration.
For I am wordless
as I am sleep-deprived during the night.
Write I say, strive I must
to feed this eternal literary hunger.
This will never be over
nor will it ever be enough.
***
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Your scent all over my shirt.
You've changed my idea of pancakes. From now on, I'll eat them whenever I miss you.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Of Sunsets and By the Beach Mementos
Succumbing to nature's ingenuity
while the heavens declare its glory.
Let the waves bind what can not be seen,
Let the mighty sun bring your searching soul to peace.
Aliwan sa Liwa
A very well-spent weekend skate trip with my skate brothers. Solid laughtrip all the way from North to Pampanga to Zambales and vice versa.
Lenard, salamat sa paghatid sa kin pauwi kahit na pinagdadasal mo na magcrash and burn ako sa bowl.
Gianne, iba ka talaga Master! Hanggang ngayon nakatatak sa isip ko yung ninjang takbo mo! Hahahaha!
Salvador/Doy, wala na akong makikilalang hater na mas hi-high-blood pa sa'yo, at salamat sa paglinis ng timba at tabo na pinampaligo ko.
Dran, lakas mo talaga pumositive. EMO hits ulit sa susunod at thank you sa masarap na dinner namin! Salamat ulit sa solid at masayang weekend skate trip! :D
Beach boys. ❤
2nd day at Liwa. Them boys emptying the bowl since it rained the other night.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
A Special Kind of Double
"She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child." ~Barbara Alpert
This photo taken with my younger sister (shobe) is to remind everyone that National Siblings Day can be any day! ♥
Phenomenal Woman
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
-Maya Angelou
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